Soul mates forever or just a myth...

Soul mates forever or just a myth that never exists!!

I always argued to all those who told me that a successful relationship existed only when there was "compromise".

I deny and strongly disagree to this.

I believe that when you truly love someone, you would never want to compromise, because we would personally cherish doing something, that we would normally not enjoy doing. This is because it eventually gives us the joy of knowing that we made the person we love happy, simply happy!

Compromise on the other hand, is an agreement between two people who would have to make a conscientious agreement to give up something to maintain the 'deal'. The deal unfortunately ends up to be the relationship that they share... Regrettably when the process of compromise kick starts, it just doesn't get over with. The list grows and grows, but the joy of the bond is lost in the process.

Sadly we humans, no matter how evolved we call ourselves to be; don't deal with compromises as easily as we are called to do it. In simple words, we don't deal with it with a mature mind.

We keep these compromises confined to our tiny lockers and one day, when we can no longer stuff them in, we pour them out to the world. At that time, we forget to 'forgive and forget' and become a broken record that keeps repeating itself and distressing all around.

However, I wonder... I keep thinking that my argument was never worth the while. Ultimately I don't think a love like 'Notebook' is an easy find! It’s a lost treasure in the depth of the ocean!

There are many reasons quoted for relationships to not work. In an article that I once read, it stated that most often relationships never work because most people got into the relationship for the wrong reasons and then eventually lose their identity; thus, losing the crux of the relationship.

There were many more, however, ultimately it all comes to one final explanation. I feel that, we let ourselves be lost in the wrong hands and keep no choices open for us to fix a problem, as we end up compromising!

We forget to spread the vibe of positivity and become the followers of sadness and self-pity! When we compromise, we hide ourselves in the relationship as we do not have the confidence to stand up and say that this is me, and this is what I have made for myself.

To close off, I would like to tell you what I think.

I think I should not expect you to compromise on what you want or who you are, because I love you just the way you are. My love for you is simple. And I hope you feel the same about me too.

And then we can be called soul mates! We will no longer be a myth but the reality that we live to prove, that we exist!

Society we should build, and not just live in...

At various distinguished moments in our life, we would have come across a point, where we tend to compromise on what we intended or wished to have as reality.

I stand today, in one such position where my needs, my dreams and my theory of life may just be a blur image of what I wish but quite far away from the idea of realism. It is like a mirage that always seems to be a lifeline to a fool thirsting for the realms of security.

The life that we dream of is most often the most beautiful one. But the life that we live, is an eye opener. We who dream are some crazy lunatics, bellowing away the craziest idea that stands far away from truth.

What exists is a gunny bag full of garbage, a set of social rules that people take, because they cannot simplify the life that is gifted to them.

There was a custom followed by the Kayan women (which has been abolished to an extent, except to attract tourists), for which no historical evidence is yet sought as to why the tradition was followed; where the women were made to wear neck rings at an early age of five years. The more the rings, the longer the neck used to look. It was said that this outlined what the society then termed as “beautiful”. The misfortune in the custom is that she had a high probability of snapping her neck as the spine becomes weak, eventually.

There is an animated American Musical that goes by the name "Phineas and Ferb". For those of you haven’t seen or heard of this show, you can always you tube it when you have time. It is a story about a big sister, whose ultimate purpose is to “bust her brothers”. The reason I mention this show here is because in one of these shows, Candace the big sister, states a very important detail where she clarifies that there is a part of the society that makes money out of peoples natural insecurities and make beauty unattainable.

To me, I agree with that thought. It’s not just beauty. It’s the profession that we choose, the partner that we choose, the clothes that we choose, the friends that we chose, all expose our social insecurities.

It becomes difficult to be satisfied. Because, let’s face it, we are not driving towards our goals and our aspirations. We are reaching out to what the society has tabled as success.

This is the tragic story that we endure most often, but never complain about. We have become so accustomed to life the way it is.

However, this brings an interesting question to my mind. So what is society? The Google definition states that ‘it is a group of people involved in persistent interpersonal relationships, or a large social grouping that shares the same geographical or social territory , typically subject to the same political authority and dominant cultural expectations.’

It is a dominant cultural expectation that I worry about deeply.

To me I feel that a leader is someone who defines this dominant cultural expectation. So it becomes necessary sometimes to affirm that the leader is choosing the right direction for its society. And how is this accomplished?

We need to question the normal. It’s okay to break the rules sometimes and to stand out to be different. When we question, we build the opportunity for change. A good leader would know it, and guarantee to build on it. If the leader is not ready for the change, and if you are right, it is time for you to take the reins. But it is important to understand that if change should happen, we need to stand up and differ.

Sadly most of us do not encourage the leader within us. We prefer being a part of a group that allows the sanctity of life to be ruined by being rode upon, by not questioning the direction, the path or to where we are destined. Why, because we cannot speak for ourselves, because we feel going against the others will rip us from the society. We constantly live in the fear of losing our social standing.

What we do not understand is that we were created to be different. It’s our society. We own it. So why not remodel it, with the changing conditions. We have poverty to think about, we have communal riots to think about, we have rape and abuse to think about and act on. Weddings and cultural variance is the last thing we need to worry about. 

Let’s think about a future, where the generations to come, need not live in the fear of dousing their own ideas because they want to be a part of a group and not stand as one and lead to make a difference...