Tuesday, 21 May 2019

Perfection... Bye

I've thought I've never loved chaos...
I love perfection...
I've always worn silent colours...
No one saw me standing there...
And I told them world, I love the invisibility...
I teared up many a nights in my lonely apathy, while the breeze dried the sleepy dews away... Wishing perfection was my only prayer in my world of commotions...

And there it was, no date set, no reason I could guess... Perfection stood, awaiting my embrace...
I just stood, and then it dawned...
I just was not who I told I was...
I was the misguided imperfection.

The reds, blues and greens I love...
The dusty cozyness was where my heart dwelt...
The greys made me dizzy and the whites erroded my soul...
The cleanliness ripped the realism in me...
Oh you impudent perfection... I never would have known my love, if not for your spur of presence...
I turn back, I bid my good bye and chose to live chaos, with my perfect imperfections...

Saturday, 21 July 2018

It just stopped...

Endless lethargy as seconds ceaselessly passed...
Moments of glory remain like yesterdays story...
What is left, cannot be said...
Yet no curiosity outlives the passing instance...
Dark curtains swayed, cloaking the grime of stagnation...
No tale to tell...
Just an empty smile, veiling the treacherous withdrawal...
Directions lost, one cannot tell, but the lapse of receptivity itself seems futile...
All for sure there is nothing more to tell... it just stopped...

Saturday, 2 December 2017

Silent sighs...

I sit under the shadows...
Dark as the world could get...
Hopelessness is all I forsee as the cold dead breeze sets in...
Positivity is the fools story of cowardice...
Negativity is mere selfishness...
And so I am unsure, what do I choose?
A mortal life tamed and manipulated to be less animal and more human, positive life they call it... And the result, I feel emotions that control me and the truth that dawn's on me that I'm merely a weak speck that can make no difference, oh hell, that's just negetive.
No one's listening... No one's here to hold hands or reassure. They are just stories for the fools.
Oh what I would give to feel nothing and be invisible.
I wish I was not so utterly pressed to assure life is a positive choice over the utterly negetive twists that I repel from.
In silence I set back to the monotony... Sigh...

Saturday, 23 September 2017

The Narcissistic Nobles.

Why do we blow our own trumpets?

It’s always a question that concerns me because either most of us are so insecure within our own skin or we are constantly fixating too much on ourselves that we need to assert our prominence.

Whatever the reason be, we really need to listen to us speak or see us in the act of this impeccable display of pretension which I call callous and preposterous. The beauty of a task can be experienced when the result is accomplished not with pomp and show, but with the consequence that now exists because of this triumph.

Although, it has become customary to broadcast even the subtlest of feats, so that the world may know what universal egotists we have grown to be.

In a movie I recently watched, the main protagonist educates how important it is to complete undertakings and not announce it, because the recipient should not feel obligated towards us, for whatever service or support made available. Our parents never made us feel obligated for the number of diapers changed, sleepless nights wasted and an infinite number of other labor that they took upon themselves for our benefit.

Nonetheless, how much of this offence can we burden ourselves with? The culture that we are so close to, teaches us to exhibit ourselves as the most perfect art of narcissism. Our corporate and bureaucratic realms are mostly enslaved by the idea to display and sell people like objects meant for bidding which is a charade, that ironically we are tolerant about and play significant roles in.

Our actions should be applauded, not the hype created about it. And actions that may never be known should construct us as humans that can experience and blossom in the authenticity of new encounters.


As the novelist Graham Greene quoted in the book ‘Doctor Fischer of Geneva or the Bomb Party’ - “He's satisfied with himself. If you have a soul you can't be satisfied.”. So a soul is what we seek for, a Narcissistic Noble is not what we would call upon to be!

Sunday, 5 February 2017

The unsaid retreat!

I wish I'd say goodbye!
Another set of reasonings with sigh!
I'd rather just retreat,
Unspoken and unknown why...
It's better to be ignorant,
Neither would know why...
Let's save the farewell,
Lets toast to another travel...
Adieus amigo, for now and forever...

Sunday, 29 January 2017

The tree by my window

The time just ticks by...

Rising with the dawn, I set about my routine... accomplish the mundane chores that I embark upon, with no surprise to stir my curious senses. 

And the tree stood still...

A couple of years back, my family lived in a rented outlet that was ideally a warehouse for metals used in construction. Though a small dwelling and mostly over full with company during weekends, we endeared our stay in this very house because of the pleasing garden that my mom had meticulously planned and tended. Succulents to the Australian silver oaks, anything that found the will to grow with mums love and water found its roots within our orchard, which I call with all regard.  

It was time to say goodbye as the small home was to be crumbled down for a more elegant concrete structure, that not only sheltered many more people but filled in the pockets of the rich landlord, who we once shared the custards and tapiocas from the yard. With tears in our eyes and heavy hearts, we moved to our new abode, this time we chose the convenient 'flat'. The only reminder we had of 'our days in the wild' as I call it with fondness, was the tree by my window.   

But we moved on, and eventually we even forgot about the tree by the window. I forgot to listen to the birds chirping, the squirrels noisily scampering about and the whispers from the tree as the breeze swept through the leaves...

It was a warm afternoon, I sat by my bed and looked out. There stood the tree with no movement and just an eerie silence that remained. I saw a tired being right outside my window. 

Around the tree was a deserted space; a small breeze blew by carrying away the dust that lazed around unattached to the earth; there was not a bird that even dared to ruffle its feathers. Around the tree a number of concrete mementoes had been built, with money which was the only pride men understood, masking away the simplified beauty of the once graceful tree that now reduced to a dusty and exhausted trophy of development. 

I wonder why I am turning my back on this friend? I wonder why knowing that I am setting my grave ready with my ignorance does not petrify me? I wonder why the change does not overwhelm me anymore? I wonder why any of this does not bother me at all?

The tree stands still and I move on... 


Saturday, 2 July 2016

A million drops, a million reflections and the naissance of many seconds ahead...

Those of you who have read my write ups and known me for a while now, surely know, that the wearisome time spent on my travel to work or vis-a-vis, is the time I sit back to contemplate the state of affairs around me.  

So here we go on another ride of reflections. 

The day had wound up and it was time for me to head back home. The shades of darkness was adorned and I was to hit the road. It was one of those cold wet evenings that every exhausted employee dreaded. This specific evening would mean a slow travel and the declaration that we would see ourselves cradled away only a lot later than what our tiring bodies would desire. It was sadly a day that most of them despised. 

Although, something about these damp dreaded days inspired me. 

Over the chitter chatter of my comrades who I share my cab ride with, I drifted away into an abode of serenity. We were travelling through this gloomy night along roads that were compressed with vehicles. It reminded me of the 'brick games' we used to amuse ourselves with, where we tried to lay and pop in bricks to achieve a complete line of bricks. We would then gallantly achieve the intention to eliminate the piling layers of bricks. Funny how an innocent childhood game was unconventionally schooling us for an aggressive adulthood.  

And then as I gazed out, amidst the glaring lights and blaring hoots from the many exasperated travellers my vision rested upon my window. There I saw a million droplets settled down on the many surfaces and slowly trickling down to a humble end, just like each of us on that road. 

As they slipped down, these drops looked like a million glimmering fireflies. They twinkled even as they drained to an end. In them I saw a million mirrors that captured another million moments of our lives. Each of these moments seized a memory, an expression...

In that swarm of vehicles was probably a mother anticipating the joy of seeing her child after a long day; a husband longing to see the refreshing smile of his wife, after the most transactional airs he had to encounter during the day and so many such wonderful reflections. Of course, it is not just the happy expressions, but the sad ones too that are captured. A smile, a tear, a sigh, anger, relief, love and so many more manifestations of our lives. 

Little do we realize that so much could change over that moment. Each of those expressions were defining us and the decisions that we would take. Probably those reflections were capturing images of new reasons to cherish life or the desperation of knowing that there was no more hope to hold on to. 

Windshields wiped away the pitter patter. Vehicles swooshed through the water drenched roads. And in the course of time these drops would encounter the end of their journey. From the prime of its life these little mirrors of our life will come to an end. 

A raindrop at that moment was a picture from the unknown, a revalidation of who we had come to become. Over those lengthy monotonous travels of life, we need to let ourselves replay these short seconds of our lives. It might just give a new meaning to the old ways of our life. Our boring days might just have an interesting twist to it. Lets not see the messy roads that the rain begets, but the invigorating thrill to move on. 

A million drops, a million reflections and the naissance of many seconds ahead... Lets make these seconds culminate into a life worth living every notch!!