Soul mates forever or just a myth...

Soul mates forever or just a myth that never exists!!

I always argued to all those who told me that a successful relationship existed only when there was "compromise".

I deny and strongly disagree to this.

I believe that when you truly love someone, you would never want to compromise, because we would personally cherish doing something, that we would normally not enjoy doing. This is because it eventually gives us the joy of knowing that we made the person we love happy, simply happy!

Compromise on the other hand, is an agreement between two people who would have to make a conscientious agreement to give up something to maintain the 'deal'. The deal unfortunately ends up to be the relationship that they share... Regrettably when the process of compromise kick starts, it just doesn't get over with. The list grows and grows, but the joy of the bond is lost in the process.

Sadly we humans, no matter how evolved we call ourselves to be; don't deal with compromises as easily as we are called to do it. In simple words, we don't deal with it with a mature mind.

We keep these compromises confined to our tiny lockers and one day, when we can no longer stuff them in, we pour them out to the world. At that time, we forget to 'forgive and forget' and become a broken record that keeps repeating itself and distressing all around.

However, I wonder... I keep thinking that my argument was never worth the while. Ultimately I don't think a love like 'Notebook' is an easy find! It’s a lost treasure in the depth of the ocean!

There are many reasons quoted for relationships to not work. In an article that I once read, it stated that most often relationships never work because most people got into the relationship for the wrong reasons and then eventually lose their identity; thus, losing the crux of the relationship.

There were many more, however, ultimately it all comes to one final explanation. I feel that, we let ourselves be lost in the wrong hands and keep no choices open for us to fix a problem, as we end up compromising!

We forget to spread the vibe of positivity and become the followers of sadness and self-pity! When we compromise, we hide ourselves in the relationship as we do not have the confidence to stand up and say that this is me, and this is what I have made for myself.

To close off, I would like to tell you what I think.

I think I should not expect you to compromise on what you want or who you are, because I love you just the way you are. My love for you is simple. And I hope you feel the same about me too.

And then we can be called soul mates! We will no longer be a myth but the reality that we live to prove, that we exist!

Society we should build, and not just live in...

At various distinguished moments in our life, we would have come across a point, where we tend to compromise on what we intended or wished to have as reality.

I stand today, in one such position where my needs, my dreams and my theory of life may just be a blur image of what I wish but quite far away from the idea of realism. It is like a mirage that always seems to be a lifeline to a fool thirsting for the realms of security.

The life that we dream of is most often the most beautiful one. But the life that we live, is an eye opener. We who dream are some crazy lunatics, bellowing away the craziest idea that stands far away from truth.

What exists is a gunny bag full of garbage, a set of social rules that people take, because they cannot simplify the life that is gifted to them.

There was a custom followed by the Kayan women (which has been abolished to an extent, except to attract tourists), for which no historical evidence is yet sought as to why the tradition was followed; where the women were made to wear neck rings at an early age of five years. The more the rings, the longer the neck used to look. It was said that this outlined what the society then termed as “beautiful”. The misfortune in the custom is that she had a high probability of snapping her neck as the spine becomes weak, eventually.

There is an animated American Musical that goes by the name "Phineas and Ferb". For those of you haven’t seen or heard of this show, you can always you tube it when you have time. It is a story about a big sister, whose ultimate purpose is to “bust her brothers”. The reason I mention this show here is because in one of these shows, Candace the big sister, states a very important detail where she clarifies that there is a part of the society that makes money out of peoples natural insecurities and make beauty unattainable.

To me, I agree with that thought. It’s not just beauty. It’s the profession that we choose, the partner that we choose, the clothes that we choose, the friends that we chose, all expose our social insecurities.

It becomes difficult to be satisfied. Because, let’s face it, we are not driving towards our goals and our aspirations. We are reaching out to what the society has tabled as success.

This is the tragic story that we endure most often, but never complain about. We have become so accustomed to life the way it is.

However, this brings an interesting question to my mind. So what is society? The Google definition states that ‘it is a group of people involved in persistent interpersonal relationships, or a large social grouping that shares the same geographical or social territory , typically subject to the same political authority and dominant cultural expectations.’

It is a dominant cultural expectation that I worry about deeply.

To me I feel that a leader is someone who defines this dominant cultural expectation. So it becomes necessary sometimes to affirm that the leader is choosing the right direction for its society. And how is this accomplished?

We need to question the normal. It’s okay to break the rules sometimes and to stand out to be different. When we question, we build the opportunity for change. A good leader would know it, and guarantee to build on it. If the leader is not ready for the change, and if you are right, it is time for you to take the reins. But it is important to understand that if change should happen, we need to stand up and differ.

Sadly most of us do not encourage the leader within us. We prefer being a part of a group that allows the sanctity of life to be ruined by being rode upon, by not questioning the direction, the path or to where we are destined. Why, because we cannot speak for ourselves, because we feel going against the others will rip us from the society. We constantly live in the fear of losing our social standing.

What we do not understand is that we were created to be different. It’s our society. We own it. So why not remodel it, with the changing conditions. We have poverty to think about, we have communal riots to think about, we have rape and abuse to think about and act on. Weddings and cultural variance is the last thing we need to worry about. 

Let’s think about a future, where the generations to come, need not live in the fear of dousing their own ideas because they want to be a part of a group and not stand as one and lead to make a difference...

Respect!

The way I see myself, you see me!

The way I love myself, you love me!

The way I treat myself, you treat me!

Yet I find it difficult to raise me up in my own eyes...

Yet I forget I deserve to be loved more...

Yet I forget I ought to be treated better...

Alas! I am insanely blinded in my own fight for recognition... I cannot let go of what I think I want!

And when I turn back, I see a shadow of doubt, when you look into my eyes...

You turn away, assured that you may be better off another way!

Its too late, and I realize, that I failed again.I retreat, realizing I lost the possibility of knowing how it feels to be esteemed. I know not now, what I would be, had I been noble to me more than all around me!

This is the story of each one of us. Its time we respect ourselves before we expect it from anyone else!

WE

"We" were people who evolved and took dominion over the world, that "we" live in today...

"We" feared the wild beasts, storm, fire, hunger and the thought of being alone!

"We" grew from one to two and a million more...

"We" worked together to liberate ourselves from our fears.

"We" remained bound to each other, to continue being powerful and in control...

"We" fostered cultivation; "We" endorsed industrial civilization and encouraged any kind of possibilities that contributed towards the ecstatic feeling of progress!

But Alas!

"We" neglected to reason that we evolved only because it was "We" who made it achievable and not just an "I".

And slowly we bend our heads to execute ourselves and crafted our own destruction...

"We" built barbed wires and divided ourselves... abandoning the joy of togetherness!

The fire that "We" dominated blistered us like a cigarette that burnt our gasp for life.

Starvation that "We" fought together to feed, became the fight of the less fortunate... There was a rich man and a poor man, and they could never be quantified as one no longer...

“I” was branded to a faith, and lost my conviction to being humane as “I” was too involved in saving a place for myself in heaven!

Being alone is what "I" choose, because it gives me the freedom of meeting my self-centric dogma… Family and friends are of no more relevance because my life is just my obligation!

It all culminated to where “I” stand today.

“I” stand alone…

“I” stand in anger with my neighbour…

“I” am starving in my own misery…

“I” am manipulated…

“I” fear I cannot go on…

“I” sense hatred around me…

“I” cling on, scared that I may fail to protect the last of my hope …

If only “I” would have stopped thinking, that “I” didn’t care for what “We” had before, and that “I” only cared for my tomorrow… It would have been a life worth living!

“I should have known, I was just a drop, but together we could have made an ocean”

Education to a better Vocation!

We live in an era, where education is the preparation to a life long battle, of meaningless slavery!!

Unlike the cocoon out of which the most stunning butterfly emerges, we see in our society children emerging as a mimicry of what the society claims to call a successful individual.

We should ask ourselves the question, what does 'Education" mean to us?

What do we want out kids to fulfil as individuals, who need to hold the foundation of their future, with determined strength and passion?

Unlike what we read and hear most often, I disagree that parental pressure is the primary cause of children's ability to understand the real cause of them being educated. Each one of us, as teachers, friends, loved ones and a stranger influences a child's concepts of education and defines the ladder to his or her success.

Why is it that people continue to feel that if a child needs to do extremely well, he should have his academics in place, he should become a software engineer or a doctor and so on. I have no offence to these professions and consider them as extremely vital form of occupation.

But who are we to scribe into the world that nothing else can make you thrive.

Today agriculture is not a profession that one would call dignified. Pottery is a great art, not a career to pursue. Let alone, even teaching is not a worthwhile trade. It doesn't pay you and is a flexible form of employment engraved for mothers who could earn some pocket money and not impact their personal life...

Education to a true educator is to pass on to the generations to come, that he or she is open to build a future in the art that he or she is passionate about.

A true educator would teach a child to respect all forms of profession and keep his or her mind open to all trades.

A true educator is one who would manifest this thought time and again to anyone who treks into his life.

He or she would educate a child, every facet of various art forms that would help him choose a vocation that he or she would have an appetite for.

The day we learn and are able to explain to our little ones about reverence towards all forms of trade, we would be making them familiar to values that build them as selfless humans. The day we are able to do this, we could possibly dream of a time when unemployment would be a part of the past.

We can create a balance. We do not have to enslave ourselves to a profession because it pays. Lets help the future to pursue what they desire, and be so good at it, that ultimately the profession has to give them a good pay check!!

A Long day... And Me...!

In a busy life like ours, has it ever crossed your minds at least once, a deep desire to just have a moment, only for you?

An alarm is set to wake you to your reality! Sadly, I have an alarm that ticks in my head... and beeps me to kick start my day at 5:00 when my mechanical clock is still waiting to strike half past five and set me up with its deafening beeps to a more alarming wake up call!! I toss and turn with a migraine that feels more like my brain cells being electrocuted, and push myself to cleanse away the last few magical specks of dust sprinkled by Ole Lukøje :(. And it slips through the drain and septic tanks and some sewage miles away...

I gorge food like my taste buds don't care to sense goûter(taste) any more and dash my way to catch my bus to work! A walk through the lanes strewn with waste papers crumbled and cow dungs carpeting your way ahead... I glance over to the road further on and see the sweeper curving down stretching the last of his spine to brush away the filth of reckless citizens, who forgot that the earth was his last lair of freedom. Keeping it mucky in his timeless spree to maintain with the pace of a mechanical life, he forgets, that he is crumbling away the last remains of a green world that was nurtured and described by a generation forgotten beneath the Graves. I dash into the bus and before a wink of an eye I'm at the alter of the Corporate Deity, that supply my wallet with the currency to lead an ordinary existence. And yet I choose against the desires my soul looks out for.

I tap away on my keyboard, sensing every muscle wearing away to a tiresome halt. Nevertheless, staying alive beneath the monotonous schedules, becomes obligatory... I smile and chatter away, not knowing what reflection I make for myself in a community that is disparaging. Still, I sit amongst the others like a Gladiator battling away and contemplating that "Targets" and "Scorecards" make more sense than just sensing the feel of the early morning mist on my bare skin.

As the Golden Arc drapes down its weary scarf, hiding its warmth in the far horizons of the Arabian Sea, I walk out through the doors of digital security and nerve wrecking air conditioning, to become aware of the breeze tingling through my curls. And oh no... Here I go again, scurrying swiftly to catch my bus... huffing and puffing, through the crowd and jumping into the motor just in time to head to my dwelling.

Depleted of my energy, with only exhaustion left to experience, I trod back home, trying to make sense as to what I gained and what I lost. I gained the extra bonus of being a couch potato garnished with a pinch of blubber and lost another probably promising day to feel the earth under my feet.

I lie down, not being able to rest my head... It twirls through the day... and before I know I slip into the dreary douse of slumber!! No dreams to relish or enliven the spirit in me... just a few hours ahead of another long day... and me!

Learning of a Life Time...

A trip back to memory lane... Almost eight years it has passed since I stepped out of school. And still the feeling of being young, impish and enthusiastic never stops. My heart takes a leap, on seeing my teachers, cradling the next generation with lessons of wisdom, compassion and momentum!

And then I think...!

Every year millions and millions of  teenagers pass out of school. Most of them accomplish all that they dream for. Some others may not achieve what they dream for, but yes, they still would learn to deal with it.

But in the process of growing from a gullible teen to a conscious adult and then an archaic person, how much do we exercise the values that we learnt at school. Of course we did great with trigonometry and algorithms. We re-lived the era of Shakespeare and soared up from The Brownian Motion to Quantum physics. Scooped through the colorful salts  in chemistry labs and distinguished a Base from an Acid. We became doctors, engineers, architects, PR's and heaven forbid what not!

However, have we given a thought on growing a tree for each person, so that his or her bag of oxygen is secured? Do we know that 4th of every month, our city of Bangalore asks its citizens to travel by buses and avoid taking out our automobiles because its "Bus Day" and it reduces the traffic and pollution; or we could try "Carpooling". When we construct our homes do we consider maintaining a garden over a concrete flooring that blocks rainwater from draining into the soil? Have we contemplated that this could lead to soil erosion, drought prone land with poor or no fertilization and probably desertification. Do we realize that its easy to clear our homes and dump the waste on the road, but its difficult to anticipate that this could lead to epidemics that are incurable.

There is a new trendy phone up in the market every other day. Its great to get the new one... and what about the old one... have we considered the "Take Back Program" where these mobiles are recycled. Do we make the effort to "Reduce, Reuse and Recycle"

Our teachers embedded values of unity, religious harmony and the wisdom to distinguish between the right and the wrong. They taught us that we make the Constitution and as responsible citizens we build the Government, but how many of us either skip the election as we don't believe in the system or vote to maintain our electoral ID? When we were in school we celebrated an Id, a Diwali and a Christmas as one... We understood that our country is very diverse and that's what makes it special. Yet today we fight to lay lines to separate cultures that once we gloated as one.

We were told to always share the bigger half of the apple with others, inculcating in us the value of selflessness and the right attitude. But today our environments that we are in, we all prefer keeping the bigger piece of apple or probably the whole apple. We forget to respect, appreciate and acknowledge others. I remember a teacher of mine once said, if you see me on the road, then walk up to me and say "Hi". She warned that she may not recognize me by my name, but that's the biggest reward she can get.

Our schools not only strengthened our academics; but they engraved a soul in us, that needs to be kept revived and kindled. We age, but the wisdom that we procured during this time should stay young. We need to keep reminding ourselves like how our teachers never forgot to say, "We are the Privileged ones, lets share this privilege and make the world around us better in our small little ways". Our School gifted us The Learning of our Life Time and we in turn can gift a safe and beautiful future for the generations to come...